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Immortal. 22. Cancerian. Eccedentesiast. Pluviofile. Librocubicularist. Can give best hugs ever. Smells like the ocean. Love food(not the sharing kind), the color black, reading. Hate liars.
How? YOU? A-doin'!!!?

mystory-goeson:

steampoweredsass:

tywinllannister:

thepredatorblog:

tallestsilver:

ryrick:

this will never not be funny.

I REFUSE

i can’t actually breathe

It looks pissed

get out

HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA omgg I can’t stop laughing

mystory-goeson:

steampoweredsass:

tywinllannister:

thepredatorblog:

tallestsilver:

ryrick:

this will never not be funny.

I REFUSE

i can’t actually breathe

It looks pissed

get out

HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA omgg I can’t stop laughing

parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

image

anfonymackie:

do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw

i havent slept in three days

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
matthewsagan:

This is a lion making a kill in the wild. I know it’s very graphic but I think it’s important to show just how brutal nature can be.

matthewsagan:

This is a lion making a kill in the wild. I know it’s very graphic but I think it’s important to show just how brutal nature can be.